IN THE NEWS NEWS
By Ted Colin
Well it is almost official. Nearly every state in the union is working to pass some sort of law to test future presidential candidates to see if they are really human or, if they are some sort of alien avatar that is seeking to suck out our brain cells and replace them with seed pods. It is of course too late to do anything about people in congress. Most of them had some kind of acid reflux disease in college which rendered them incapable of holding down a real job. Many people believe that it is impossible to get the attention of our congress. I disagree. Just shine some headlights at them and they will stand there and stare into the lights for hours.
BUSINESS NEWS
By Tim Colin
I hate it when Ted gets all political in his columns. Then, I have to read more e-mail complaints then we even have readers. So, for all you people out there who enjoy staring into headlights for hours, I most humbly apologize.
It seems that the stock market is not doing well because some countries over in Europe are about ready to go all 1970’s South America and declare bankruptcy. I guess things are so bad that the U.S. sent past Columbian dictator Manuel Noriega over to France to straighten things out for the Europeans. “Firing Squads VS the guillotine” should be a pretty good show for some histories greatest warriors cable show. Noriega and his firing squads and the French and their guillotine might sound good when you read it on the TV channel but, I think I’d put my money on the firing squad.
SPORTS I CARE ABOUT
By Mike Colin
The greatest outdoorsman I have ever known has died in a tragic underground explosion. I am of course talking about my Great Uncle Oslo. Uncle Oslo was a hunting and fishing maverick. He invented new ways to hunt and fish faster than the government could pass laws to ban them. Thanks to Uncle Oslo you can no longer hunt geese using lawn jarts or, use horse shoes to hunt chickadees. His electric chair for the snow shoe hair was once featured in “The Alternative Hunter Magazine.” He was also on 60 Minutes before he went to jail for helping his friend, Dr. Kevorkian.
The local police believe that Oslo was blown up by a still he kept hidden in an old bear cave. My aunt told me that in fact, Uncle Oslo was getting ready to go fishing and was busy making up some home made dynamite when the explosion occurred. My dad said Uncle Oslo would be alive today if he had only stuck to the old family recipe for making dynamite instead of downloading one off the internet.
There is some good to come out of the tragic death of my uncle. It seems that Uncle Oslo never told anyone as to whether he wanted his remains cremated or buried after he died. Well, since his body was instantly vaporized in the blast and then the ashes were buried when the bear cave caved in, one way or the other my uncle’s final wishes have been carried out.
PSYCHIC NEWS
By Psychic Madam Misty Merkel
Well, I think next month is going to be hot. Talk about hot; I just got back from those desert states down south and out west. After a few days in that heat my turkey timer popped up and I was done. I also lost my life savings in Los Vegas. It will probably be another seven years until I can squirrel away another $100.00.
I was also the victim of the new racial profiling law in Arizona. I was not profiled because of my skin color. I’m so pasty white that the local funeral home calls me three times each week to see if they can drop by and pick up the corpse I have at my trailer. At first I thought it was the neighbor kids’ crank calling me again but, when I hit display on my phone and called the number back sure enough, it was the funeral home that had called me.
Anyway, I was targeted in Arizona by a hotel detective because of the clothing I had on. It seems that people in that state don’t like people who wear University of Michigan T-shirts at hotel lounges. Besides harassing me about my tee, this hotel cop accused me of stealing towels and toiletries out of my room and even off the cart of one of the cleaning ladies. Well, I agreed to return the towels and split half the toiletries with the cop. The toiletries are fruity smelling and are really too low class for this lady anyway. Of course after returning the towels I’m going to have to find mom another gift for her birthday.
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
By Gerrard
The movie Avatar was released on DVD. I guess the movie is really good but, I can’t watch it. Every time I watch a 3D movie I get a nose bleed. It seems the 3D effect makes me so sick to my stomach that I always throw up. Of course, the person I throw up on gets really mad and pops me and that’s when my nose starts to bleed. I’m afraid that Avatar has so much 3D effects in it that I’d most likely need a blood transfusion by the end of the movie. I’m just going to have to wait until Disney makes Avatar into a cartoon musical before I can see it. I do like Sigourney Weaver though so, I’d like to try and chance it and go see the movie anyway. Then, I start to remember how I hate to waste food, especially all that buttery popcorn. But, I just can’t bring myself around to eating popcorn that looks like someone sprayed strawberry jelly all over it.
A not quite the news report with a jilted, adherance to facts or logical, insightful commentary. This blog is published whenever the gang can get together.
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Showing posts with label AVATAR. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AVATAR. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Friday, March 19, 2010
EXPLODING UNDERWEAR? ARE TERRORIST WATCHING GET SMART RERUNS?
IN THE NEWS NEWS
By Ted Colin
Assistant Editor
Blowing up yourself along with a bunch of innocent people gets attention but, it is incredibly stupid, let alone evil. This last attack proves the idiocy of terrorists. Who would believe that someone would try to take down an airplane by wearing exploding underwear? Instead of watching James Bond movies for training films the terrorists must be watching “Get Smart” reruns. I wonder if the terrorist guy had a shoe phone. It has been reported that the flight attendant asked the terrorist if he was having a problem. The terrorist said no and then his britches started to smoke. The Attendant then said “Liar, Liar pants on fire…” You are supposed to burn bridges behind you, not your britches. For a terrorist this guy from Yemen turned out to be a lemon. A government spokesman reported that the terrorist was so scared when his pants blew up that explosives were not the only thing that was found in the guys underwear.
This terrorist nut came from a rich banking family. His old man had homes all over the world. Instead of blowing up a bunch of innocent people he could have just had his old man buy him a seat in the Senate. That’s where the children of super rich people do real economic damage to the whole country.
By Tim Colin
Editor
Cash for clunkers has helped Ford Motor out quite a bit. On the other hand, GM looks like they will need more bailout money from Washington. If you go out on the road you would think GM was selling a lot of cars because everywhere you look someone is either shoving or having a GM vehicle towed. The local GM dealership has a lot full of vehicles waiting to be worked on by mechanics. When I looked for a car there I got frustrated because there were more cars waiting to be fixed on the lot then there were cars available for sale.
I realize that as an American I am part owner of Gm but, I’m not counting on my GM stock portfolio to be a major part of my retirement. As an owner I’m going to write myself a nasty letter complaining about how stupid I must be to let my company be run into the ground. After all, if a business isn’t run well it’s ultimately the fault of the owner.
SPORTS I CARE ABOUT
By Tim Colin
Editor
CMU beat Troy at the GMAC bowl with a final basketball type score of 44 to 41. Central Michigan University ended the season with a 12-2 record. Great job chips.
In other sports news: The Detroit Red Wings hockey team is number 3 in their division while, the Detroit Pistons basketball team has 11 wins and 23 loses. All I have to say is “Great Job Chips!”
THE WEATHER UP HERE
By Mike Colin
Building Maintenance
If you live in Northern Michigan you will freeze your icicles off next week. We get warm air from the South and Cold air from the North and for the next few weeks the South will be on vacation. Personally, I think they’re just getting us back for that civil war thing.
I’m getting really sick of the grader guy plowing in my driveway as soon as I’ve shoveled it out. The guy must wait around the corner to see when I’ve shoveled the last heavy shovel full of show to the side of my driveway and then collapsed. When he sees I’m having a coronary he comes along and dumps large hunks of ice across the end of my driveway and buries my corpse. He even backs up and grades back and forth across the end of my driveway several times. The grader guy also loves to fill in around my mailbox. Now I’m getting nasty notes from the mail guy complaining that he won’t deliver my mail unless I start keeping the snow cleaned out around the mailbox. Well, the joke is on the mail guy since I mostly just get bills and, I’d just as soon have those requests for money returned to sender
PSYCHIC NEWS
By Madam Mistress Merkel
The Petoskey Stone Psychic
My name is Mike Colin and I’m filling in for Madam Merkel this week. Our local psychic has gotten into some trouble down state. Last week she went down to some little berg just outside of Grand Rapids. She was being paid to give psychic readings but it turned out to be a MSNBC sting operation for catching psychic predators.
It seems some police lady has been pretending that she was an elderly retiree on the Internet. The police lady would start up conversations with psychics she met in chat rooms and then she would lure them down to her house to give a reading. The problem is that Madam Merkel likes to have a few cocktails before she gives a reading. In the state of Michigan it is illegal to drink before you give a reading. I guess drinking and giving psychic readings is like taking steroids and playing baseball. It is considered to be unfair to psychics that don’t drink because while drinking real psychics give predictions that always come true.
I’m not sure if the Mistress will be back next week or not. The Psychic guild in Michigan has a lot of political power and they’ve gotten some pretty strict laws passed recently. I don’t even know if Mistress Merkel even has a license to practice psychic predicting.
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
By Gerrard
Well those tall blue guys movie (Avatar) is still big and making lot of bucks. I think the blue people sort of look like elongated Smurfs. I do remember that on Star Trek some blue colored women were like the most attractive women in the galaxy. Most of them were beautiful but, I was not too crazy about the blue ladies with the little antennae on their heads.
One reason for the success of Avatar is that it stared Sigourney Weaver. I think all movies with Sigourney Weaver in are going to be hits. When guys hear her name mentioned in the trailer they just have to go see her movie. It’s like that Russian scientist Pavlov and his trained drooling dogs.
For a chick flick, the movie with Helen Hunt in it was pretty good too. I wouldn’t have gone to see it but, I went with my mom. She made me go because the movie was showing at night and she is always afraid of being accosted. She said with a big slob like me tagging along no one would bother her. She paid for my ticket, drink and, popcorn so, what do I care if she insults me.
By Ted Colin
Assistant Editor
Blowing up yourself along with a bunch of innocent people gets attention but, it is incredibly stupid, let alone evil. This last attack proves the idiocy of terrorists. Who would believe that someone would try to take down an airplane by wearing exploding underwear? Instead of watching James Bond movies for training films the terrorists must be watching “Get Smart” reruns. I wonder if the terrorist guy had a shoe phone. It has been reported that the flight attendant asked the terrorist if he was having a problem. The terrorist said no and then his britches started to smoke. The Attendant then said “Liar, Liar pants on fire…” You are supposed to burn bridges behind you, not your britches. For a terrorist this guy from Yemen turned out to be a lemon. A government spokesman reported that the terrorist was so scared when his pants blew up that explosives were not the only thing that was found in the guys underwear.
This terrorist nut came from a rich banking family. His old man had homes all over the world. Instead of blowing up a bunch of innocent people he could have just had his old man buy him a seat in the Senate. That’s where the children of super rich people do real economic damage to the whole country.
By Tim Colin
Editor
Cash for clunkers has helped Ford Motor out quite a bit. On the other hand, GM looks like they will need more bailout money from Washington. If you go out on the road you would think GM was selling a lot of cars because everywhere you look someone is either shoving or having a GM vehicle towed. The local GM dealership has a lot full of vehicles waiting to be worked on by mechanics. When I looked for a car there I got frustrated because there were more cars waiting to be fixed on the lot then there were cars available for sale.
I realize that as an American I am part owner of Gm but, I’m not counting on my GM stock portfolio to be a major part of my retirement. As an owner I’m going to write myself a nasty letter complaining about how stupid I must be to let my company be run into the ground. After all, if a business isn’t run well it’s ultimately the fault of the owner.
SPORTS I CARE ABOUT
By Tim Colin
Editor
CMU beat Troy at the GMAC bowl with a final basketball type score of 44 to 41. Central Michigan University ended the season with a 12-2 record. Great job chips.
In other sports news: The Detroit Red Wings hockey team is number 3 in their division while, the Detroit Pistons basketball team has 11 wins and 23 loses. All I have to say is “Great Job Chips!”
THE WEATHER UP HERE
By Mike Colin
Building Maintenance
If you live in Northern Michigan you will freeze your icicles off next week. We get warm air from the South and Cold air from the North and for the next few weeks the South will be on vacation. Personally, I think they’re just getting us back for that civil war thing.
I’m getting really sick of the grader guy plowing in my driveway as soon as I’ve shoveled it out. The guy must wait around the corner to see when I’ve shoveled the last heavy shovel full of show to the side of my driveway and then collapsed. When he sees I’m having a coronary he comes along and dumps large hunks of ice across the end of my driveway and buries my corpse. He even backs up and grades back and forth across the end of my driveway several times. The grader guy also loves to fill in around my mailbox. Now I’m getting nasty notes from the mail guy complaining that he won’t deliver my mail unless I start keeping the snow cleaned out around the mailbox. Well, the joke is on the mail guy since I mostly just get bills and, I’d just as soon have those requests for money returned to sender
PSYCHIC NEWS
By Madam Mistress Merkel
The Petoskey Stone Psychic
My name is Mike Colin and I’m filling in for Madam Merkel this week. Our local psychic has gotten into some trouble down state. Last week she went down to some little berg just outside of Grand Rapids. She was being paid to give psychic readings but it turned out to be a MSNBC sting operation for catching psychic predators.
It seems some police lady has been pretending that she was an elderly retiree on the Internet. The police lady would start up conversations with psychics she met in chat rooms and then she would lure them down to her house to give a reading. The problem is that Madam Merkel likes to have a few cocktails before she gives a reading. In the state of Michigan it is illegal to drink before you give a reading. I guess drinking and giving psychic readings is like taking steroids and playing baseball. It is considered to be unfair to psychics that don’t drink because while drinking real psychics give predictions that always come true.
I’m not sure if the Mistress will be back next week or not. The Psychic guild in Michigan has a lot of political power and they’ve gotten some pretty strict laws passed recently. I don’t even know if Mistress Merkel even has a license to practice psychic predicting.
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
By Gerrard
Well those tall blue guys movie (Avatar) is still big and making lot of bucks. I think the blue people sort of look like elongated Smurfs. I do remember that on Star Trek some blue colored women were like the most attractive women in the galaxy. Most of them were beautiful but, I was not too crazy about the blue ladies with the little antennae on their heads.
One reason for the success of Avatar is that it stared Sigourney Weaver. I think all movies with Sigourney Weaver in are going to be hits. When guys hear her name mentioned in the trailer they just have to go see her movie. It’s like that Russian scientist Pavlov and his trained drooling dogs.
For a chick flick, the movie with Helen Hunt in it was pretty good too. I wouldn’t have gone to see it but, I went with my mom. She made me go because the movie was showing at night and she is always afraid of being accosted. She said with a big slob like me tagging along no one would bother her. She paid for my ticket, drink and, popcorn so, what do I care if she insults me.
Friday, December 18, 2009
MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS, HAVE A GREAT NEW YEAR!!!
IN THE NEWS NEWS
By Ted Colin
World leaders have been meeting all week to decide on how much Americans should pay for gas and heating oil in order to fix global warming. It seems that if our utility bills are greatly increased then the temperature outside will rise by 10 degrees Fahrenheit every 1,000 years. It is only 2 degrees Fahrenheit outside right now in Northern Michigan. If in 7,000 years the temperature rises up 70 degrees which will make it 72 degrees outside. I’ll be able to grow a garden and eat on a regular basis. It may get a little toasty for all the rich people in Southern California but, who cares?
BUSINESS NEWS
By Tim Colin
The stock market keeps seesawing up and down. The economy must be in great shape because bankers on Wall Street are getting multimillion dollar bonuses. How do you get those jobs? I guess you have to go to colleges like Harvard or Yale. Of course if I could afford to go to one of those schools I wouldn’t need any job.
It looks like the health insurance industry and congress have finally hammered out a bill to reform health insurance. The White House and Senators who have been working long hours said that the bill will help insurance companies by making consumers healthier which will then drive down costs. It seems the unlimited amounts of money insurance companies will be able to charge government forced customers, will keep people from having money to buy food and will thereby curtail the problem with overweight individuals which is currently costing the insurance companies a lot of money. And of course, if people should happen to starve to death on the streets and not die of natural old age causes then, this too will sharply drive down the health care burden those insurance companies are suffering. Personally, I'm going to control my weight by going on a liquid diet. I won't keep any food at home and I'll consume all my meals at The Big Liver Lounge. I hang out there most of the time anyway. My new diet will most likely get me the cheapest health insurance rate.
Overall, the health care bill seems to be a victory for everyone. Now everyone will be forced to buy health insurance coverage at prices set by the insurance industry. No one can be denied health insurance and would only have to pay 3x the regular rate if the insurance companies can find something wrong with you. (If you are over 50 years old then you have something really wrong with you.). On the positive side, the White House points out that no one can be denied being sold a health care policy and it will be up to the insurance industry to decide what treatments they will pay for. And, if you die because your insurance company denied your treatment then, your relatives will find it virtually impossible to sue the insurance company because the company works with the federal government. This last point will truly drive down costs all across the industry. Everyone must pay into a plan and insurance companies will cover nothing. This legislation has been named in honor of the famous wall street wizard, Bernie Madoff. It will be called the Bernie Madoff insurance reform legislation.
SPORTS I CARE ABOUT
By Tim Colin
Well the Tigers and the Lions have bit the dust this year. Now only the Detroit Pistons or the Red Wings can hold Detroit together. With a reported 50% unemployment rate I feel sorry for Detroit. But, we in Northern Michigan have our local minor league baseball teams like the Midland Loons and the Traverse City Beach Bums. Maybe our Bums and Loons might be a match up with the Tigers. Based on last season I would say they would not. But, who knows.
Speaking of Tigers, how about that Tiger Woods. My goodness. Tiger Woods is a real Tiger after all. (Roar!!!). I’ve never really respected golfers as athletes but, with all the girlfriends Tiger has well, Dog Gone! Like Bill Clinton in his second term, I’m starting to have respect for the man. It seems Tiger was much better at playing horizontal doubles than straight up and down singles matches. Now, many people are worried because Tiger has lost so many endorsement sponsors. The truth is Tiger is losing all his athletic and business endorsements but, now he can get all those more lucrative endorsements from pharmaceutical companies for their little pills, air pumps and, lotions.
PSYCHIC NEWS
By Madam Mistress Misty Merkel
The Petoskey Stone Psychic
Well, January is coming next month. At that time it will be January and time to sweep out the old cobwebs out of my Petoskey Stones. I like to clean house during January so I can find all the places I put my bottles of apricot brandy while I was in a trance. Sometimes when I trance out I forget where I put things. I go all through my trailers every year. I also clean everything out and find all sorts of things that are stuffed in every crack and crevice.
Now, I predict that not only will I find stuff in all sorts of places in my trailer in January but, I also predict that the stock market will go up along with the price of oil. I also predict that the woman’s rest room at the Big Liver Lounge will get a new coat of paint in January. They really need to clean the place or flush the toilet or something. But, the owner is really lazy and it is always easier to just paint over stuff than to actually clean it up. The fresh paint will make it smell better anyway.
SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY
By Gerrard
Well, if you want to see rockets being sent up in the air in the U.S. then you had best show up for the 4th of July fireworks display. NASA is still going to be getting a huge budget every year but, the money will be spent on things that do not relate to space and or technology. They will instead be spending all their money on having expensive entertainment at climate change conferences that will be held around the world. It costs a lot of money for caviar and champagne at climate change conferences. Eating well and getting drunk is a lot more fun than doing science stuff. I tried to tell my high school teachers that when I was a kid but, they said I was wrong. Well, look who says they were all wrong; none other than our very own government science guys. So there!!!
ENTERTAINMENT
By Mike Colin
Avatar is opening this weekend at most theaters. I and every guy I know are going to see this movie. It has the two things in a movie that every guy loves: senseless violence and Sigourney Weaver. The code words of guys for senseless violence are “action adventure” The code words for really intense senseless violence are “science fiction” and this film looks to be full of “science fiction”.
Although this might not be a movie classified as a “chick flick”, it has one of the hottest chicks in moviedom staring in it. That chick is Sigourney Weaver. She may be getting more mature in age but, to guys Sigourney Weaver is looked at in the same way that women look at Sean Connery or Hugh Grant. We guys all grew up watching this hot chick defeating these really nasty aliens. In our eyes she never ages. She looks nice and you want to have someone like that to get your back in a bar fight.
By Ted Colin
World leaders have been meeting all week to decide on how much Americans should pay for gas and heating oil in order to fix global warming. It seems that if our utility bills are greatly increased then the temperature outside will rise by 10 degrees Fahrenheit every 1,000 years. It is only 2 degrees Fahrenheit outside right now in Northern Michigan. If in 7,000 years the temperature rises up 70 degrees which will make it 72 degrees outside. I’ll be able to grow a garden and eat on a regular basis. It may get a little toasty for all the rich people in Southern California but, who cares?
BUSINESS NEWS
By Tim Colin
The stock market keeps seesawing up and down. The economy must be in great shape because bankers on Wall Street are getting multimillion dollar bonuses. How do you get those jobs? I guess you have to go to colleges like Harvard or Yale. Of course if I could afford to go to one of those schools I wouldn’t need any job.
It looks like the health insurance industry and congress have finally hammered out a bill to reform health insurance. The White House and Senators who have been working long hours said that the bill will help insurance companies by making consumers healthier which will then drive down costs. It seems the unlimited amounts of money insurance companies will be able to charge government forced customers, will keep people from having money to buy food and will thereby curtail the problem with overweight individuals which is currently costing the insurance companies a lot of money. And of course, if people should happen to starve to death on the streets and not die of natural old age causes then, this too will sharply drive down the health care burden those insurance companies are suffering. Personally, I'm going to control my weight by going on a liquid diet. I won't keep any food at home and I'll consume all my meals at The Big Liver Lounge. I hang out there most of the time anyway. My new diet will most likely get me the cheapest health insurance rate.
Overall, the health care bill seems to be a victory for everyone. Now everyone will be forced to buy health insurance coverage at prices set by the insurance industry. No one can be denied health insurance and would only have to pay 3x the regular rate if the insurance companies can find something wrong with you. (If you are over 50 years old then you have something really wrong with you.). On the positive side, the White House points out that no one can be denied being sold a health care policy and it will be up to the insurance industry to decide what treatments they will pay for. And, if you die because your insurance company denied your treatment then, your relatives will find it virtually impossible to sue the insurance company because the company works with the federal government. This last point will truly drive down costs all across the industry. Everyone must pay into a plan and insurance companies will cover nothing. This legislation has been named in honor of the famous wall street wizard, Bernie Madoff. It will be called the Bernie Madoff insurance reform legislation.
SPORTS I CARE ABOUT
By Tim Colin
Well the Tigers and the Lions have bit the dust this year. Now only the Detroit Pistons or the Red Wings can hold Detroit together. With a reported 50% unemployment rate I feel sorry for Detroit. But, we in Northern Michigan have our local minor league baseball teams like the Midland Loons and the Traverse City Beach Bums. Maybe our Bums and Loons might be a match up with the Tigers. Based on last season I would say they would not. But, who knows.
Speaking of Tigers, how about that Tiger Woods. My goodness. Tiger Woods is a real Tiger after all. (Roar!!!). I’ve never really respected golfers as athletes but, with all the girlfriends Tiger has well, Dog Gone! Like Bill Clinton in his second term, I’m starting to have respect for the man. It seems Tiger was much better at playing horizontal doubles than straight up and down singles matches. Now, many people are worried because Tiger has lost so many endorsement sponsors. The truth is Tiger is losing all his athletic and business endorsements but, now he can get all those more lucrative endorsements from pharmaceutical companies for their little pills, air pumps and, lotions.
PSYCHIC NEWS
By Madam Mistress Misty Merkel
The Petoskey Stone Psychic
Well, January is coming next month. At that time it will be January and time to sweep out the old cobwebs out of my Petoskey Stones. I like to clean house during January so I can find all the places I put my bottles of apricot brandy while I was in a trance. Sometimes when I trance out I forget where I put things. I go all through my trailers every year. I also clean everything out and find all sorts of things that are stuffed in every crack and crevice.
Now, I predict that not only will I find stuff in all sorts of places in my trailer in January but, I also predict that the stock market will go up along with the price of oil. I also predict that the woman’s rest room at the Big Liver Lounge will get a new coat of paint in January. They really need to clean the place or flush the toilet or something. But, the owner is really lazy and it is always easier to just paint over stuff than to actually clean it up. The fresh paint will make it smell better anyway.
SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY
By Gerrard
Well, if you want to see rockets being sent up in the air in the U.S. then you had best show up for the 4th of July fireworks display. NASA is still going to be getting a huge budget every year but, the money will be spent on things that do not relate to space and or technology. They will instead be spending all their money on having expensive entertainment at climate change conferences that will be held around the world. It costs a lot of money for caviar and champagne at climate change conferences. Eating well and getting drunk is a lot more fun than doing science stuff. I tried to tell my high school teachers that when I was a kid but, they said I was wrong. Well, look who says they were all wrong; none other than our very own government science guys. So there!!!
ENTERTAINMENT
By Mike Colin
Avatar is opening this weekend at most theaters. I and every guy I know are going to see this movie. It has the two things in a movie that every guy loves: senseless violence and Sigourney Weaver. The code words of guys for senseless violence are “action adventure” The code words for really intense senseless violence are “science fiction” and this film looks to be full of “science fiction”.
Although this might not be a movie classified as a “chick flick”, it has one of the hottest chicks in moviedom staring in it. That chick is Sigourney Weaver. She may be getting more mature in age but, to guys Sigourney Weaver is looked at in the same way that women look at Sean Connery or Hugh Grant. We guys all grew up watching this hot chick defeating these really nasty aliens. In our eyes she never ages. She looks nice and you want to have someone like that to get your back in a bar fight.
Labels:
AVATAR,
FAKE NEWS,
HEALTH REFORM,
NEWS SATIRE,
SIGORUNEY WEAVER,
WINTER CLEANING
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